ROBIN HAWDON
P L A Y W R I G H T

Shady Business
*
E X T R A C T

 

….. (BIG MACK PUTS HIS HAND ON THE BATHROOM DOOR KNOB.)

MANDY: (DESPERATE) Mack, er....

MACK: Hello. This door's locked.

MANDY: Er... yes.

MACK: Someone's in there.

MANDY: Er... yes.

MACK: Who?

MANDY: Er... a friend of mine.

MACK: A friend?

MANDY: Yes.

MACK: Who?

MANDY: Just... just a friend.... who's visiting.

MACK: Visiting?

MANDY: Yes. Dropped by.

MACK: Dropped by?

MANDY: Yes.

MACK: How interesting. Isn't that interesting, Dozer? Mandy has a friend dropped by.

DOZER: Yes, boss.

MACK: Well, let's meet this friend, Mandy girl. I always like to meet friends of yours - especially if they've dropped by.

MANDY: Oh well.... they're in the bathroom, and....

MACK: Well, let's get them out of the bathroom. I want to meet them.

(TURNS AND KNOCKS ON THE DOOR.)

Hey! Friend of Mandy's! Come out - we want to meet you.

(KNOCKS AGAIN.)

D'you hear me? Come out of there.

(THERE IS THE SOUND OF A LOCK TURNING. MACK STEPS BACK. THE DOOR OPENS SLOWLY AND LARRY COMES OUT. HE IS UNRECOGNISABLE. HE WEARS A WOMAN'S DRESS AND HIGH HEELS, BLONDE WIG, AND HEAVY MAKE-UP - THE FULL DRAG. HE IS QUITE A DISH.)

LARRY: (TO MACK) What's the matter, big boy?

MACK: (TAKEN ABACK) Oh - sorry.... I didn't realise.

LARRY: Can't a girl tart herself up without being interrupted?

MACK: I thought you were, er....

LARRY: Yes?

MACK: Somebody else.

LARRY: Sorry to disappoint you. (LOOKING ROUND) Well, Mandy - you didn't tell me you were having a party.

MANDY: (DUMB-STRUCK) Um....

LARRY: Who are all these lovely people?

MANDY: Um....

HARRY: (COMING SMARTLY FORWARD) I'm Harry. Harry the Hammer they call me.

LARRY: (SHAKING HIS HAND) And why would they call you that, Harry?

HARRY: Well, I....

MACK: Because he's a much-used tool, that's why. But he's getting decidedly worn. So back off, Harry.

(HARRY BACKS OFF. MACK STEPS FORWARD AND SHAKES LARRY'S HAND)

I'm Joe MacAllister - otherwise known as Big Mack, because I'm the big man around here.

LARRY: Oh yes, I've heard about you.

MACK: Nothing good, I hope - ha, ha. I'm Mandy's employer. In fact I'm practically everyone's employer.

LARRY: I'm impressed.

MACK: And who are you?

LARRY: They call me Laura.

MACK: Laura.

LARRY: Otherwise known as Big Lorry, because I'm the big girl around here.

MACK: (INTRIGUED) Oh.

*